Speaking of Action Figures

HOW AWESOME IS THIS GIANT METALLO?!


Answer? Extremely awesome.

Also, DC Direct is releasing a Superman figure based on the art of Jack Kirby in their upcoming Fourth World line, which makes me happy all over.

More pretty pictures of upcoming DC toys from DC Direct and Mattel at TNI.

DC Universe Classics

I got email asking what I thought of new wave (featuring Superman and Aquaman characters, plus several other cool characters) since I've gone on about how much I love these and their predecessor line DC SuperHeroes.

I'd offer reviews and take silly pictures of them, but I CAN'T FIND THEM! And I've looked. I know they've been spotted, has any one out there come across them? Care to share your opinions?

Superman, Inc

I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I like Superman. But not just the fiction, I love the merchandise. I love it any time some one gives me something with an 'S' shield on it. I've owned Superman bubble bath, rusty old lunchboxes with Chris Reeve and Mark McClure on them, aprons, christmas tree ornaments, and just a ton of other crazy things. A drop in the bucket relative to what's out there. I love the variety of things out there, I think it's fascinating and funny and just neat.

I've never owned anything very old though. Nothing I've had went past the 70s, beyond the odd Silver Age comic from the 50s or 60s I've owned here and there. When I was in junior high there was small comic shop that I went to that had all these cool old comic ads framed and hanging around the store. Lots of them were for crazy old Superman merchandise and I used to just stare at them and wish I could get my hands on the things being shilled. They were from a time when Superman was so popular that they all had "© Superman, Inc" on them.

I'd ask about that stuff and the owner would tell me "Oh man, that's stuff's impossible to find these days." These days was 15 or 16 years ago. Today, nothing's absolutely impossible to find with the internet. Still, that "impossible to find" thing kinda stuck with me, so anything with Superman on it made before 1969 is kind of magical to me.

I got this in the mail yesterday-


The note said "It's a Valentine from the 40s- and every one you're helping."

A beautifully and cleverly done one, at that. Its copyright says "Superman, Inc." For those of you who aren't giant geeks, Superman, Inc. was DC's licensing arm in the 40s and early 50s. I've seen ads that said "Superman, Inc," pictures of boxes with that on it, items far of my price range at cons and such with that name on it, but I've never owned anything that had that little legal stamp. Seeing it made me smile the biggest smile I have in quite some time.

Larry Young of AiT/Planet Lar sent it to me with a note mentioning how sad I'd probably be to have then send away all the cool stuff from the auction.

Thank you, Larry. It made my whole week.

If you've ever wondered what diabetes looks like

My birthday is tomorrow! Monday birthdays are awkward so most of the celebrating is done already. My sister works at a supermarket bakery and she made me a cake surrounded by cupcakes and made of 12 pounds of icing.


Each cupcake had, and I do not exaggerate, 4 inches of icing. It hurt my teeth to look at. This is it with several removed so you can see the actual cake. My friend Mino actually ate one of the cupcakes without dumping the icing off first.

He later exploded.

Also, please do not accept the cake's invitation to call me Tom. I hate being called that.

HEY McGURK!

I feel like the Unabomber. I ready sinister parcels! So about eight years ago or so DC Direct, DC Comics' toy company, made a plush Mister Mxyzptlk. He's a really neat little toy. Unfortunately, he was an expensive neat little toy, and one not much in demand. So he sat on shelves and in warehouses longing for a home. I recently had the chance to get sixteen of them for less than a dollar each, and pretty much had to. I was compelled. They originally retailed for $15! I know a bargain when I see one.

So what the hell am I gonna do with sixteen eight inch plush spacemen? Well, I'm gonna keep a couple. Thirteen of them though! I have a plan for those!

The plan:


Take thirteen Mxys, and leave them laying around in a spot they're likely to be picked up by some curious person with a note that reads:

Hello!

I am a Mxyzptlk* toy! I am one of 13 identical toys left all over the country. If you don't know who Mxyzptlk is, he's a odd little man who comes from another dimension to play pranks on Superman in the comic books and cartoons. It's all very silly.

Why did you just find one in some random spot? Why not! I thought it'd be fun if some friends and I left some silly little spaceman toys out for folks to find and see if they give people a laugh.

You have found Mxy #__. If you'd like, we'd love to hear from you! Drop an email to sayitbackwards@gmail.com just to say hello, or if you feel like doing something sill, try one of the other things people suggested in plotting this whole thing- tell us where you found him, share pictures of you and Mxy or of Mxy as your dog's brand new chew toy, tell us how dumb you think this whole thing is, leave him in a new spot with this note and one one of your own. Any thing you care to share or do with the thing.



*Pronounced Mix-yeez-pittle-ick.

Yes, I realize a lot of them will just end up tossed out, but if just a couple people get a laugh out of it and say hi I'll call it a success.

I think it'd be kind of boring to leave them all in my home town, so I wanted to send at least 8 or 9 of them out there to you guys to leave some where around your town. Now obviously they can't just be left any where. Leave them on a bus or in a movie theater or some such and they're just gonna get tossed out when they get their clean up walk throughs. I was thinking the best places would be in book stores or generally kind of yuppie places where hipsters hang out, because they're the most likely to play along. Hipsters love the internet, you know. But any place you think some one may pick him up and laugh would be awesome. Airports would probably be the worst idea ever.

Also, I'd love pictures of you planting Mxy where ever you decide to leave him. I just think they'd be neat to have. So, if you want a Mxy to plant some where, just send an email to sayitbackwards@gmail.com let me know.

Wherein SIB peaks

Seriously, I will never post anything better than this. Never has this image been more apropos:


A recent thread at the Superman Fan message boards reminded me of something I'd stumbled across a while ago and forgotten about. This comes to you thanks to the genius that is one of my favorite blogs ever, Way Out Junk. Tony has amassed tons of old crazy records and shares them with us, and they're amazing. I now share with you my favorite, the greatest record in the history of pop music. Recorded in 1966 featuring songs about and by characters in the Superman Family, A Children's Treasury of Superman Musical Stories.


It's only half an hour long. Half an hour of AMAZING. The sound? Imagine the song "5 o'clock World" had a glorious, beautiful baby with the Adam West Batman theme then that child was raised on a commune of 60s game show themes. I will never be half as hip as this record.

If you only listen to a few songs, make them "Lois Lane" making amazing strides for feminism; "I Don't Want To Go Back," & "Mr Mxyzptlk" which are just AWESOME; and "Jimmy Olsen," sung with love by Lucy Lane.

Not one to leave well enough alone

If you guys were reading around the holidays, you know I got the greatest gift ever from my best friend's son and daughter, SUPERDINO!


Superdino came with a little naked dinosaur pal. I always felt bad for the little guy. So today in a fit of boredom, I fixed that with the help of an extra DC direct plush toy that I gutted mercilessly. I give you, MXYSAURAS!


What's that? Yes, I'm certain I'm a grown man. How strange of you to ask.

JUSTICE HEROES LEAGUE GO!

I went to the flea market! What did I find? The greatest superhero team ever!



JUSTICE HEROES LEAGUE ROLL CALL!

With Spider-bat!

With poorly translated name and weird arrow thing!

With slightly less suck!

With appalling show of poor taste!

With light up and roaring action and more awesome than you can handle!


Best three bucks I ever spent.

The greatest gift EVER

Updates will be sporadic for the rest of the holiday, but I had to mention this:

My friend's family wasn't sure what they were going to get me for Christmas. They had no ideas at all. So they left it up to their daughter. Being a 9 year old girl, she said "Let's go to Build-A-Bear!" What would a Build-A-Bear, a pink place of teddy bears, ponies and little frilly dresses for said bears and ponies, have for a man nearly 30 years old?

A DINOSAUR IN A SUPERMAN COSTUME! Her baby brother added the stuffing and she dressed him so they made it together. And he is awesome.

Mego!

Mego toys came and went before I was born, but I love them. I've always wanted a Superman from the 8 inch series, but to find one in decent shape with all his stuff is a bit costly.

Just because I think they're neat, a bunch of Mego commercials. (PS. Go check out the Mego Museum. It's neat, too.)

A commercial for the whole Marvel/DC line. Prepare to say "What the hell?" when it gets to the Falcon.


The Hall of Justice. I am terribly amused by the teleportation gimmick.


This one is funny. It's a series of commercials for Mego's 4 inch figures. It taught me two things: Penguin was a badass in the 70s, and Spider-Man is an ineffectual quitter.


I think all of these are beyond cool:


This is particularly interesting. There's a mego commercial, but keep watching afterwards. Superman shills for the Air Force.

I know, I know

I updated multiple times a day for something like a week and then disappeared. Sorry, I just had one of the worst weeks I've had in a long time. I'll start posting again soon. Until then, Zhinxy said I should play the happiness meme. So I'll do that. Some random things that have made me happy, and in the interest of not venturing off topic, as many will be Superman related as I can think of.

After wanting him for months I finally, FINALLY, have the pain in the ass to find Cyborg Superman figure, finishing up my collection of DC Superheroes Superman characters.

Busiek's Superman. So damned good.

The recent Johns/Powell Bizarro world arc in Action Comics 855-857. Great art! The return of Htrae! Superman vision! I really had fun with that arc.

The recent batch of comments I've received that have said "I love your blog, and I don't even like Superman."

My nephew gave me a cool Superman sticker that I put on my wallet.

Wal-Mart had Superman and Batman place mats on sale for 59 cents so I bought one to use as a giant mouse pad. It's pretty great, I feel.

I went digging through my comics and found a complete run of Reign of the Superman. I may live blog my reading of them so you can experience my horror/joy in real time.

I'm not sure I want to tag any one else, I think I'd feel like I was putting them on the spot.

Just because it made some one I like laugh

I thought I'd share with the rest of the class.



Yes, that's me. Yes, I'm the biggest dork ever.

Now you're playing with power.

I thought reviewing the NES Superman game would be good for a few laughs. Then I tried to play it. Oh dear lord. I had no idea what the hell was going on. It's a fairly typical side scroller from the era, but what I'm supposed to be doing I have no idea.

Instead of reviewing the game, I'm going to share with you a few screen shots in the hopes you understand why I just said "Oh screw a whole bunch of this" very, very loudly before completing the first level.

We'll start with the backstory.




Okay, I don't know why the statue of liberty is bossing me around, but whatever. Zod's out there and I gotta stop him! Hopefully whatever drugs that made the statue of liberty talk will wear off before I find him.


Ah, the good ol' Daily Planet staff. Perry, Jimmy and Lois. You start the game as Clark, apparently on Saint Patrick's day because every one is very green. They're dead weight. Lois tells you to go to the park and you can find it on your map. Which is pretty useless, as you get there by walking right. For a long time. And you don't know why you're going to the park. Yeah.

You don't stay Clark for long, though. Soon you find a phone booth! Now the games gonna pick up!

There'll be more than some walkin' now! There'll be some action!


But not a lot. See that guy? There are other bad guys, but 90% of the time you're just punching him. You have super powers, but they only work on certain enemies. I think. I'm not sure. I just know I was punching this guy and his army of clones a lot. A LOT. He did at least come in two flavors. Some times he was a pimp instead of a gangster.


Say, Jim! That is a bad outfit!

Okay, smacking gangsters and pimps is getting old. Maybe if I talk to some of the people standing around they'll tell me what to do.


Oh, well, Metropolis is a big city. I suppose it'd have a large population of immigrants. Maybe this next guy can help.


Oh, well, Metropolis is a big city. I suppose it'd have a large populations of, um, confused mutes. This next guy can help, though. I've got a good feeling.


WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

I thought maybe the Blues Brothers could help, but turns out they're the FBI, and we all know they're useless. Zombie? Who the hell is that? And why are you talking about yourself in the third person? I hate you, Nintendo Superman game.

The Superman sprite is adorable, though.

Hello, kind reader

Could you do me a favor? If you're reading this would you please leave a comment? Just a quick "Hi, I'm ________, and I found the site through _____." And if you're feeling especially talky, maybe even "I like _______ about the blog, but _______ needs to go."

I've enabled anonymous comments, so any one can say what they like without giving any personal info. I'm just kinda curious about who is out there reading.

I thank you for your kind efforts in advance with this, a picture of a dog dressed as Superman.



How can you say no to that face? Have you no soul?

A desperate plea for help

See this?



It's a DC Super Heroes Cyborg Superman. I want one, but I don't have one. And I can't find one any where. They're sold at places like Wal-Mart, Target, and lately lots of them have been spotted at Big Lots. They retail for about ten bucks.

If you go to those stores, please see if they have one for me, because I'm obsessive compulsive and not having the last Superman villain in the line makes me the think the world is going to end. I will pay you back in monies and sweet, sweet love.

My current obsession (updated)

Mattel is currently putting out a line of Superman and Batman figures called DC Super Heroes, and I love them. I've not collected super hero toys regularly in a long time, but these just look so cool and have such a great selection of villains I had to have 'em.

Here's a brief rundown of what's out there from the Superman side of the line and how likely you are to find it at your local Target, Wal-Mart or Toys R Us. (You can click on any of these to get a better look.)



Superman, Lex Luthor, Brainiac (the last two here are getting harder to find but are still out there)


Clark Kent (came in a two pack with Superman, probably not gonna find that any more), Bizarro, Parasite


Supergirl (pretty hard to find), Darkseid (easiest to find in a new darker paint job), Mongul


Steel, Supergirl (Linda Danvers) (probably gonna have trouble finding her in her regular colors, but there's an easy to find repaint with a black skirt), Doomsday (probably only going to find this one in his new orange paint job)

Not pictured because I don't have them:
The Cyborg Superman (who i desperately want and is really hard to find now) and many Superman variants , including Our Worlds At War black Superman with black trim, the silver and black costumed Superman from Emperor Joker, one with lame gambit like headgear called "Kal El", and another in the classic costume that's a different (and ugly) sculpt.

The K-Metal from Krypton! Part 2

In the 70s there was a revamp of Superman, and all the Kryptonite on Earth was rendered inert. Here we see Superman being a smug bastard about it. Which is pretty funny. This has been sitting around half complete for a while now, and the first part seemed to be one of the most well liked things I've done here, so sorry it's taken so long to get part 2 up. Continuing from where we left off a while ago, 4 more pieces of Kryptonite you don't see every day.

---

Flavor: Krazy
Created by: Mattel
Causes: Me to laugh



Looks like a Green Jello Mold of a brain, huh? Superman Returns was a mixed bag at best, but far and away the best thing to come of it was Krazy Kryptonite. It's like a green translucent Silly Putty that comes in a plastic crystal shaped mold instead of an egg. It's slimy and gross and has a weird chemical smell, so it's a pretty perfect toy for little boys. Technically it can bounce, but, like Silly Putty, it draws every piece of lint and dirt and general gross within 50 yards if it touches anything but your hands. The best part? The warning on the back of the package. "Danger: Keep Kryptonite away from Superman."

I like how they emphasize the kraziness by italicizing it. Oh, and you cannot let this stuff touch paper. My friends and I were playing with it and it oozed down and touched a napkin. The napkin disintegrated and was just sort of absorbed into the Krazy K. It was freaky. I no longer have any because the nephews saw mine and had to have it.

---

Flavor: Magno-Kryptonite
Created: by Truff using the advanced science of the planet Pyron
Causes: Aliens to come up with screwy plans that capitalize on the 60s secret agent craze.



This is a good one. So there's this secret organization called SCAR, which, being secret and having a name like that, pretty much has to be evil and involve spies. SCAR's plan is to secretly create doubles of of Superman's closest friends (and Supes himself) in order to plant them close enough to enact their diabolical plan. These impostors are created by Dr Rembrandt, an evil plastic surgeon able to turn any one into an exact copy of any one else.

These reconstructed agents of SCAR all get two things: code names consisting of the name of the person they're impersonating suffixed by the letter X (Olsen-X, Batman-X, Lois-X and so on), and bombs implanted in their heads should they turn on Nero, the head of SCAR. Here we see Robin-X get his when he tries to warn Olsen-X about the evils of their boss. Poor Robin-X, died in short-pants screaming like a little girl with a skinned knee. I'm sure there's a less dignified way to die, but it probably involves using one's last words to proclaim an adoration for dressing up like a baby or something equally awful so we'll not speculate on that any further.

Jimmy foils his double, and goes undercover as the guy who was going undercover as him so he can infiltrate SCAR and discover their plans. Yeah. It's then we learn the true origins and motivation behind Nero and SCAR. Nero is actually Truff from the fire planet Pyron. It seems Pyron's flames are burning out and he was sent to Earth to conquer it and set it on fire so the people of Pyron can set up shop here. The first stage of his plan? The ridiculously complex act of setting up a secret organization, creating body doubles, infiltrating the Daily Planet staff and creating Magno-Kryptonite. How does the Magno-Kryptonite fit in?




I like to think its magnetic properties come from it being shaped like a horseshoe magnet. The fact that this stuff will stick to anything from Krypton just begs the question, "If it'll stick to anything from Krypton like a magnet, why not just get kinda close to Superman and throw it at him? " The answer: Where's the fun in that?

---

Flavor: Rock!!
Created: By the greediest, most cynical man to ever work in DC merchandising
Causes: Kids in the 70s and 80s to waste $2.50 plus shipping. On a rock.



This is sort of a companion to Krazy K entry up above. The key difference being that Krazy K is an actual toy, whereas Kryptonite Rock!! is, well, a rock. During the pet rock craze of the 70s DC decided to capitalize on the trend by releasing their own version. This ad ran in DC comics for years-



Now you can't read the copy there, so here's a close up of what I feel is the most amazing part of it. The ad goes on to tell about how Kryptonite falls from space and often ends up in the hands of evil-doers. Fortunately, the last batch to fall to Earth ended up in the hands of the good guys (the guys selling it). You can be Superman's pal by buying a piece of it from them! You'll be keeping Superman safe by guarding a piece of Kryptonite away from him and keeping it out of the hands of ne'er-do-wells. So what are you buying for your $2.50 (plus $1.00 s/h) besides Superman's eternal gratitude?

Two ordinary rocks covered with glow in the dark paint in a cardboard box. Now I know I sound like I think the guy who came up with this is history's greatest monster, but to be completely honest, I think guilting kids into buying painted rocks to cash in on an equally stupid craze is freaking hilarious.

And I would totally buy some if I saw it on ebay or at a convention.

---

Flavor: Slow Kyptonite
Created by: Roger Corben, the second Metallo.
Causes: Humans to feel the effects of Kryptonite the way Superman does.



Most folks don't realize this, but the original John Corben version of Metallo died in his very first appearance; his robot body running out of fuel causing him to drop dead.

The Metallo that plagued Superman through out the rest of the Silver Age was his brother Roger, who had himself turned into Metallo to get revenge on Superman, who he blamed for his brother's death. The conversion was slowly killing him as well, so he goes off to Gotham to kill the scientist who created his Metallo body. While there he runs into Batman, and promptly kicks his ass with his newly formed Slow-Kryptonite. Here we see him explain how it it works, with science!

---

Wow! That is just like the gun Superman uses!

I actually would love to have one of these.

Every girl and boy gets a toy when it's empty, when it's empty it's a toy!

I love stuff like that.

The Supermobile!

I was gonna write a bunch of lame jokes like I usually do, but decided I didn't need to. The Supermobile needs nothing from me to be fun. All you need to know is that Superman lost his powers during a fight with Amazo, a robot with all the powers of the JLA, and he built the Super-mobile to replicate all his powers and stay in the fight.

(You can click and enlarge the pictures below to read the dialog more clearly.)













The first thing Supes did with the Supermobile was run over Amazo...


...beat him up with it...


...and impress the JLA with his fly new ride.



Ollie always gotta try bust somebody's balls, don't he? Any way, Superman was powerless for a while, and in that time the SMB (that's what they called it) became pretty famous in its own right.

This is here for two reasons. One, it shows off the Supermobile using one more of Superman's powers, and two, the thugs dialog in the lower panels is solid gold.

This story took place in Action 481-483. I don't know if the SMB ever showed up again after Superman got his powers back, but it didn't get mothballed. It got licensed.





I know the dialog from those panels up there seem like an obvious toy advertisement, but these were the days before He-Man and Transformers cartoons and the ugly cynical world that came as a result of them. This is the first of the of the Supermobile toys, released about a year after the vehicle made its debut in the funnybooks. It's a little Hot Wheels/Matchbox sized diecast toy made by Corgi. I want one of these so bad I can't stand it, but I've never found one in decent shape. (Well, in decent shape I could afford.)








In the 80s came the Super Powers action figure line, and this guy. It's got a battering ram instead of fists, and a new backstory. The blurb on the box said Superman built it to knock out Kryptonite meteors around Earth. Which is as good a reason as any to build one.




The Supermobile made it's triumphant return to the comics recently thanks to Gail Simone and Mike Norton. In The All New Atom #8 the Atom visits a future where cities have adopted various super heroes as the basis for their governments, and he arrives just before forces from the cities following Superman and Batman arrive. The Super-city's fleet? Supermobiles. Both flavors.

(Highlighted mainly to draw attention to the less obvious smaller one.)

It's silly, but when I was a kid I loved my Super Powers Supermobile. Though as an adult I have to admit I prefer the one with the fists.

And yes, I know this makes me a total hypocrite after making this post, but come on, you have your choice between something called "The Matrix Conversion Coupe" and "THE SUPERMOBILE!" what are you going to pick?