Pray i don't use them on you

I have freaky brain powers. I do. I control what happens in the Superman comics.

I post an image of Superman fighting Cthulu and declare it amazing? BAM! Superman starts fightin' Cthulu.



I start a fund raiser to help out sick kids? BAM! Superman's helping out kids with cancer in All Star.



I complain about grim and gritty Toyman? BAM! It's undone.



I say John Byrne comics stink (no link, just look for every other post here), and BAM! His career is now a limping shadow of what it once was.

Okay, that one I've been willing into reality since long before I started SIB. But you can't argue with results!

Now I know what you're thinking. You're all worried Terra Man and the Super mobile are going to start showing up in every issue of Superman. Well don't. Terra Man's not showing up until I get to pitch my Terra Man mini. And it will be AWESOME. I will let you in on some other stuff though, because SIB loves you.

Now that I've blown your mind with evidence you cannot argue against, seriously, don't even try, I locked it DOWN, I offer you FIVE PREDICTIONS FOR THE FUTURE OF SUPERMAN COMICS!

Within one year:

Lois Lane will continue to be drawn more and more like Margot Kidder until an issue concludes with her being found naked and coked out of her mind in a stranger's back yard.

Superman will ride a dinosaur, as he frequently does at Chris Haley Conquers the Impossible.

Brainiac will give Superman a dunce cap at some point in the current Brainiac arc in Action Comics.

Chuck Austen will be tied up in a bag and thrown into a river. Then fired out of a cannon into the sun.

Dan Didio will be put in the same cannon, but it will explode in a horrible mess of gore which many will describe as poetic given that DC comics under his supervision have been overwhelmed with gratuitous gore and violence. But not me. I'll just describe it as gross and complain about how things used to be better when we didn't actually see the comic creators fired out of cannons to gruesome deaths and only heard reference to it in-panel.

You heard it here first.