Sunday, September 30, 2007

Taking requests

I haven't had much time for updates lately. Sorry. I haven't been thinking about the site much, I've got A LOT going on in my personal life right now.

My last couple of posts have been suggestions by readers. I've enjoyed doing that. Is there anything you want to see SIB rant about? A character whose history you'd like cleared up? Want me to look for another Perry White is senile? Just say so.

Suggest something or it's another week of Super-Turtle strips.

SIB Movie Reviews - Superman Returns

I was asked to review it. So here we go. In short, I loved it when I first saw it, these days, not so much. (The image at right has nothing to do with the film or review, it's just a (very good, I think) fan photo manip of Routh as Bizarro that I found on the web a long time ago. I post it now just for the heck of it. Creepy as hell, isn't it?).

Things I still love:

Routh and Spacey were both great.

Jimmy was fun and likable.

Any scene where Superman is being Super. The flight through Metropolis stopping the disasters, the montage with the bank robbery, the plane rescue.

The musical score.

The climax, tossing the Kryptonite island into space. I don't care if he didn't punch anything, he almost died saving the world and did so by being Superman. He finds it in him to succeed and help no matter how difficult. That's who Superman is. That was dead on.

Things I have come to hate:

The super-stalker scene.

Superman doesn't save Luthor's thugs before moving the island, and is responsible for their deaths.

Kate Bosworth is not likable at all.

"Truth, justice, and all that stuff."

The scene on top of the Daily Planet where Superman actively tries to break up a family.

I will say that it is a logical extension of the character we see in Superman II, and is very true to the version of the character created in the first two films. In that context, I don't even mind the kid thing, because that fits the character with his established back story. It's just a lot of things don't fit my personal idea of the perfect version of the character. So there we go. I like some stuff, but dislike a lot as well. It's a mixed bag at best. I never watch it all the way though when I do watch it again. I skip around a lot.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

A Public Service Announcement from Say It Backwards


They're just comics, kids. Have fun with 'em; even the ones you hate. Take them too seriously and something in your brain might pop.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Folks what have linked here.

I mentioned Every. Issue. Ever. in my last post and thought, you know, some blogs and sites that have been very kind and linked to me and I should return the favor. These are the places I'm aware of that of been kind enough to point their readers my way. Thank you, folks.

Mxyzptlk.com is Chris' awesome collection of Mxy art that I envy. There's some really great pieces here. One day I plan to club him over the head and steal them all.

Journalista is The Comics Journal blog of online happenin's. It's classy.

When Fangirls Attack collects links to things about women in comics on the web. They've linked to me many times, actually. I'm not sure if that means I'm a misogynist or enlightened.

Blog at Newsarama does what it says on the tin. It's a blog at Newsarama, one of the best comics news sites out there. My friend submitted the link to them. I got good friends.

Youri's blog. Youri is one of SIB's best friends, because he's one of the five or six folks whose encouragement kept me from geting bored and giving up after the first couple of weeks.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow is Casey Ontiveros' blog of wonder. Casey also kept the dream alive early on with his encouragement. Thank you gentlemen.

Dirty Nerd Luv is a blog where dirty nerds get luv.

The Lint Trap the blog of net trends, celebrity gossip, comic stuff and such run by pop-culture/geek site yourmomsbasement.com

House of El is a blog all about Superman. A blog about Superman? How nerdy.

If I've missed you, I'm sorry, and please let me know. These are just the folks I'm aware of.

The world's finest team

I love Batman. Well, I love what Batman can be. I don't like the Batman that's popped up the comics of the last 15 years or so. He's more perfect and infallible than Superman ever was. He can do anything and defeat any one because he's perfect, and that completely misses the point, as I understand Batman. He doesn't always win because he's the most perfect guy who ever was that can do anything, he always wins because he's a hero and he never gives up. Unfortunately, the only time we've seen that in the last 20 years or so is in Batman The Animated Series (and the comics based on it).

I was asked a while ago to share my thoughts on Superman and Batman and how I felt about The Dark Knight Returns and Frank Miller's influence on that relationship. It's not very involved, really. I think Miller had no intention of writing either character as they were generally portrayed. And I don't mean not as the silly silver age versions, I mean he was offering a whole new take on both of them. Unfortunately, 20 years of fanboys aping Miller's twisted take have made it the status quo.

Superman never represented fascism or unswerving servitude to the government. The "American way" in the Truth, Justice and the American Way didn't mean blind loyalty to the government. It meant the ideals, the best of what America could be. Miller knew that, he just wasn't writing that. He was writing satire, and to some degree parody, so he twisted the American way part. And it was a Batman story, not a Superman story, so he obviously had Batman be in the right where his and Superman's ideas opposed.

John Byrne's robbed Superman of his intelligence when revamped, that led to general dumbing down of the character over the year. That coupled with along with Miller havine Batman constantly call Superman and idiot and beating him up to prove how badass Batman is, has resulted pretty much in Superman having been Batman's punk for the last 20 years.

This is thing about DKR's influence: It wasn't meant to be a definitive take on the characters. But it was so well done, people thought it should be. Those people are very, very wrong.

And it was well done. I love DKR. I just hate its influence and misinterpretation.

Honestly, I think backlash against the perfect Batman's coming eventually. It'll bite him in the ass the same way it got Superman. Soon there will be a story that's popular enough featuring another character taking Batman down just to prove how cool he is, then that'll get aped enough that Batman will be in the same boat Superman's in now. Which is okay. Because Superman in the last few years has been getting some of his grandeur back, and Batman will too. Only you, know, on levels that make the character as good and three dimensional as he once was.

I love the World's Finest team. The real one. The Batman that wasn't afraid of Superman but stood in awe of him. The Superman who respected Batman more than any one and wouldn't ever distrust him. The Batman that would never use the phrase, "You're as dumb as Clark" and a Superman that wouldn't hesitate to call Batman one of his best friends. It doesn't have to be silly stuff like Batman baking giant cakes for Superman's birthday and Superman building robots to fight crime with so he doesn't endanger Batman, but you don't have to tear one character down to build the other up.

And while we're talking about Batman, I want to draw your attention to my new favorite comic blog, Every. Issue. Ever. It is to Batman what SIB is to Superman, only it's actually funny and has a point. Zhinxy, the lady what runs it, plans to review every Batman comic ever. She so crazy.


PS, this makes me laugh.




Friday, September 21, 2007

Now you're playing with power.

I thought reviewing the NES Superman game would be good for a few laughs. Then I tried to play it. Oh dear lord. I had no idea what the hell was going on. It's a fairly typical side scroller from the era, but what I'm supposed to be doing I have no idea.

Instead of reviewing the game, I'm going to share with you a few screen shots in the hopes you understand why I just said "Oh screw a whole bunch of this" very, very loudly before completing the first level.

We'll start with the backstory.




Okay, I don't know why the statue of liberty is bossing me around, but whatever. Zod's out there and I gotta stop him! Hopefully whatever drugs that made the statue of liberty talk will wear off before I find him.


Ah, the good ol' Daily Planet staff. Perry, Jimmy and Lois. You start the game as Clark, apparently on Saint Patrick's day because every one is very green. They're dead weight. Lois tells you to go to the park and you can find it on your map. Which is pretty useless, as you get there by walking right. For a long time. And you don't know why you're going to the park. Yeah.

You don't stay Clark for long, though. Soon you find a phone booth! Now the games gonna pick up!

There'll be more than some walkin' now! There'll be some action!


But not a lot. See that guy? There are other bad guys, but 90% of the time you're just punching him. You have super powers, but they only work on certain enemies. I think. I'm not sure. I just know I was punching this guy and his army of clones a lot. A LOT. He did at least come in two flavors. Some times he was a pimp instead of a gangster.


Say, Jim! That is a bad outfit!

Okay, smacking gangsters and pimps is getting old. Maybe if I talk to some of the people standing around they'll tell me what to do.


Oh, well, Metropolis is a big city. I suppose it'd have a large population of immigrants. Maybe this next guy can help.


Oh, well, Metropolis is a big city. I suppose it'd have a large populations of, um, confused mutes. This next guy can help, though. I've got a good feeling.


WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

I thought maybe the Blues Brothers could help, but turns out they're the FBI, and we all know they're useless. Zombie? Who the hell is that? And why are you talking about yourself in the third person? I hate you, Nintendo Superman game.

The Superman sprite is adorable, though.

Some site stuff

For those that don't use an RSS or some such and view the site at blogspot, the site has a new, cleaner lay out. Please tell me if you hate it or prefer it to the old. Tank you veddy much.

Also, you guys want t-shirts? I made some designs a long time ago but never put them up on spreadshirt or cafepress. But a couple people asked after seeing Allison's Jimmy Olsen tank top.

They weren't the gaudy old site logo and they didn't have the site URL so you'd feel like you were a walking ad for the site. They were simple designs inspired by the site's theme but skirting around copyright/trademark infringement.Let me know and I'll put something together. The designs were nice, I thought.

Jimmy Olsen could steal your girlfriend if he wanted.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Burgers made from sacred cows

Want to hear a confession? I don't like Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
all that much. This is rambling and contains a lot of spoilers if you haven't read it.

I know Alan Moore is God's gift to comics and all*, but it just doesn't work for me. Meant to be a farewell to the existing version of the character before John Byrne's retooling in the mid-80s, a 'final story' for the Silver Age Superman, it's often cited as one of the best Superman stories ever.

It's expertly put together. There's no denying that. It's just too dark.

Superman gets a happy ending, but look at what it costs him. Jimmy and Lana die. Krypto rips some one's throat out then dies. I dunno. If you're going to try to sum up 30 or 40 years of crazy light hearted fun, you shouldn't go all "murder the supporting cast" on it. Bizarro kills a bunch of people then commits suicide. His whole rogues gallery dies. I won't even start with Mister Mxyzptlk. And Grant Morrison pointed something out, once. Superman cries in despair. Superman! The guy who always finds a way!

I don't know. It's well written. But I have to call something that betrays everything the character was for decades a failure on some levels no matter how well crafted. And holy hell, it's just depressing.






*As an aside, he's written 3 of my favorite comics ever; From Hell, V for Vendetta, and Tom Strong.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mama said knock you out


Not only is he cooler than you, he can kick your ass.

Monday, September 17, 2007

SIB Movie Reviews - Superman: Doomsday

It's weird.

The big fight is cool. It's all very PG-13. Mild cussing. Blood. Lots of it for a moment.

There's a second big fight. It is also cool. But less so.

Lots of death.

All of the character designs are a step up from the Superman TAS/JLU except, sadly enough, Superman.

There's a creepy teenage goth Toyman that sets up a Kevin Smith cameo/in-joke.

Luthor's damn near in love with Superman.

No Reign of the Supermen characters.

The whole thing takes place at night.

Jimmy is a selfish prick.

Ann Heche is awful. Every one else is great. I really dug Adam Baldwin.

The super-mullet is there.

I wouldn't show it to a kid under 13 or 14.

I dunno. It's well done, beautiful animation, great designs, generally good acting, but it's definitely not my kind of Superman story.

Word Association Game: Leinil Yu

I gotta say, Leinil Yu is far and away my favorite modern Superman artist. His Krypton designs are interesting and cool and have a great classic feel to them.

His Superman and supporting cast are modern and dynamic without losing the feel of the characters, it's all just great stuff. His people have a realness to them. The double page splash in Birthright where we first see Superman, man you can practically hear the John Williams theme when you see that. I was very excited when I got Leinil's email. So here we are. Lienil Yu and five random terms associated with Superman.

SIB: Jor El
Leinil: Jay's (and silent Bob) Mallrat's scene. Snootchie bootchies.

SIB: Primary colors
Leinil: flag of my country, the Philippines. Something I stay away from when designing characters of coloring covers but oddly enough, it looks great on Superman.

SIB: Clark Kent
Leinil: Ripley's Believe it or not! hahaha.

SIB: Rescue
Leinil: 911? I'm being honest here.... do I have to answer in a Superman context?

SIB: Krypton
Leinil: boring ice planet (cause of the original movie).


The Ripley's Believe or not took me a minute to get.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

DC actually published this

I've been meaning to post this for a while (click 'em to make 'em readable):


Friday, September 14, 2007

Word Association Game: Evan Dorkin

Evan Dorkin is a familiar name around here. I've gone on about him in a lot of posts; I'm a big fan of his. This blog even stole its name from one of his comics. Rather than give another brief overview of his work and time with Superman here, I'd like to point you towards my lengthy earlier entry on him here. He's a cool guy and you should read that.

This is the second time he's been cool enough to share his time with the blog; so he we are now, Evan Dorkin plays the word association game.


SIB: Otto Binder
EVAN: Mr Mind.

SIB: George Reeves
EVAN: Sad

SIB: Perry White
EVAN: Great Ceaser's Ghost

SIB: Supergirl
EVAN: Wasted opportunity

SIB: Mister Mxyzptlk
EVAN: Usually not funny


Heh, Mr Mind.

Word Association Game: Kurt Busiek

You know who Kurt Busiek is. Astro City, Avengers, JLA/Avengers, Arrowsmith, Conan and tons of other stuff.

Superman related, he's done Secret Identity with Stuart Immonen, which I think is one of the best Superman stories ever. He's currently the regular writer on Superman, (and doing the occasional fill-in over on Action) and he's knocking it out of the park. The character is the best he's been in over 20 years and Kurt's a huge part of that. Here's his contribution to the word association game.


SIB: Supermobile
Kurt: great covers!

SIB: Heat vision
Kurt:hot!

SIB: Ron Troupe
Kurt:Carlin Era

SIB: Terra Man
Kurt:Clint Eastwood

SIB: Mort Weisinger
Kurt:inventive tyrant

His Terra Man answer, by the way, proves he's the coolest guy ever.

Word Association Game: Brad Walker

Brad Walker's a really cool guy. He did the recent Jimmy Olsen/Kryptonite Man arc in Action with Kurt Busiek. He's a relative newcomer, but I really enjoy his stuff. Plus, he can draw one mean lookin' giant kryptonite monkey. He's gonna be big, this guy. He's got a really clean style; expressive and energetic and he draws action scenes brilliantly. He's perfect for a Superman title.

Here be his responses to the word association game.

SIB: Jimmy Olsen
Brad: Optimistic! Lots of fun to "watch" him do whatever he's gonna do, even as I'm the one in control.

SIB: Beppo The Supermonkey
Brad: Overdue for a return. I'm sure somebody has a story with him ready to happen. It's only a matter of time. My money is on Morrison....

SIB: They Saved Luthor's Brain!
Brad: Uh, I'm not sure if there's a specific story you're referencing, here. But this makes me think of that period in the 80's or 90's when his brain was put into the other Luthor body with the big red mane and wacky Abe Lincoln beard. Is that how that went...?

SIB: Curt Swan
Brad: DC's "King", in my mind. Everything was graceful, everyone was beautiful. He doesn't get nearly as much credit as he deserves. Easily my favorite Superman artist!

SIB: Conduit
Brad: Uh, he's a bad guy, right? I'm blanking...



I would like to go on record as saying I love his answers. They're pretty much exactly what I would have said.

Word Association Game: Scott McCloud

If you're a fan of the medium at all, you really should have read Understanding Comics. It does exactly what it says on the tin, it gives you a better understanding of the history and mechanics of funnybooks and does it in an interesting and entertaining way. He's most famous for that work, but he's also dipped his toes in the Superman pool.

After an introductory issue by Paul Dini, Scott wrote the next 12 issues of Superman Adventures, featuring some really great, fun stories. (Particularly his excellent backwards running Mxy issue.) Scott gets Superman. Here he is playing the word association game.

SIB: Siegel and Shuster
Scott: Sad

SIB: Cartoon
Scott: Wonderful

SIB: Julius Schwartz
Scott: Bean Soup

SIB: Ron Troupe
Scott: No strong association

SIB: Brainiac
Scott: Better in the show

Classing up the joint properly this time

I had an idea. "Wouldn't it be funny if I got a bunch of creators thoughts on random bits of the Superman universe?" Then I thought, "What creator would care to share them with me?" But hell, fortune favors the bold. So I sent an email to several pros that said this:

I'm one of a about a million fans that run a fan site. Mine is a blog about Superman, where I try to celebrate things about the Superman and his world that I think are fun, and I was hoping I could get a few creators who have worked on him to play a short interview game.

There's not much to it; it's just a quick word association game. I list five random things related to Superman (each creator get a different list), and you reply your immediate thoughts on them. Short and painless, I swear. Would you mind?

And I'll be damned if some didn't reply. These are very short, usually with quick one or two word answers, but really, that's what I find so interesting about many of them. I think this is a pretty cool thing. I'll post the first few today, then the rest as (if) they come.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Party like it's 1992

My friend Mr Torres and I were talking about Deathmate for some reason. You know the huge mismanaged Image/Valiant crossover from the 90s speculator boom? We were talkin' about that. Lord only knows why. Any way, that got me feeling all nostalgic. So I put this together. Five of the six Image founders and their take on our friend Kal.

(click on the images for better views)





Todd McFarlane. Look, I don't want to say this, but feel compelled. The cape is obviously all wonky, but doesn't he look weird around the, you know, midsection? Supes is wearing granny panties.

You know, I just noticed this. He only has four mutant fingers on his left hand.









Marc Silvestri, sorta Jim Lee, sorta Rob Liefeld. I don't even remember what his Image launch title was. But I bet it had chicks in thongs, cyborgs, and evil government agents. They ALL did. His tights look especially tight here.









Rob Liefeld. Look at his face! That's just freaking funny. These guys became millionaires for drawing like this, by the way. Think about that and despair.









Erik Larsen draws like Walt Simonson with a broken hand.














Jim Lee, the rich man's Marc Silvestri. I actually like Jim Lee's art. It's stiff, but looks cool without looking 'kewl' to my eye, if you take my meaning. Shame his run on Superman was drawn from scripts that couldn't decide if they wanted to be awful because they were boring, pretentious or nonsensical.







I don't know if the final founder, Jim Valentino, has drawn Superman. But really, I never understood how he got invited to the party to begin with. These other guys were like rock stars to nerds and Valentino was like Michael Bolton.

An afterthought: I realize I'm being overly harsh. I actually like most of these guys work quite a bit. It's just most of them really aren't a good fit for Superman.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The 10 Worst Moments in Superman History, a series

You know how I've been making fun of the thought process/possible pitches behind these? I've tried, but i just can't bend my head around this. I just don't know. Ladies and gentlemen, a scene from the 70s television special, the musical, It's a Bird, It's a Plane... It's Superman!

If you can get through this whole clip, Superman attempts suicide at the end. Try not join him.



I just... I got nothin'. You know what? It is a musical, I'd be remiss if I didn't include a song. So here you go. It's... just watch it and learn to hate the world a little more.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Hello, kind reader

Could you do me a favor? If you're reading this would you please leave a comment? Just a quick "Hi, I'm ________, and I found the site through _____." And if you're feeling especially talky, maybe even "I like _______ about the blog, but _______ needs to go."

I've enabled anonymous comments, so any one can say what they like without giving any personal info. I'm just kinda curious about who is out there reading.

I thank you for your kind efforts in advance with this, a picture of a dog dressed as Superman.



How can you say no to that face? Have you no soul?

Like reaching for a cold Dr Pepper and getting a warm Mr Pibb.

Superman is an archetype. The first major superhero, he pretty much defines the genre for the public at large. But he's owned by a single company. So we get the poor man's Superman many times over; characters owned by other publishers that are Superman enough that you can see the character in them, but not so much they're gonna get sued. Just because, a brief introduction to the major ones.


Captain Marvel

Good ol' Shazam. A kindly old wizard gives a little boy a magic word that turns him into a superhero.

He takes first place in the race to second place. His origins don't share much with Superman's, but he was the first major flying invulnerable Hercules to show up after Superman. DC even sued his publishers, and it was decided that he was legally a rip off of Supes, but some sort of legal mumbo jumbo tied the case up for over 12 years. You know, I've never liked Captain Marvel. Not because he's a knock off, he just doesn't appeal to me. Meh. Eventually DC would buy the property and make him part of the regular DCU.



Samaritan

Kurt Busiek is class. Just thought I'd throw that out there. This is his Superman, a literal man of tomorrow who traveled back in time to make the world a better place by preventing a coming catastrophe.

He's a part of Kurt's brilliant Astro City. He's a morose and lonely man consumed by his duties. You can imagine Superman feeling that way at times, but the real Superman has quite a bit more hope in him.






Apollo

Given super powers by the government, he was a soldier on their superhero team which eventually went rogue and pretty much took over the world.

He is more caricature than anything. It's Warren Ellis saying "Tee hee, I'm gonna make a fake Superman and and a fake Batman gay lovers, that'll prove I hate slumming it with these stupid superheroes. That'll show those fanboys!"

To be fair, all of the Authority characters are caricatures. It can be entertaining, the Authority, but the Apollo/Midnighter thing bugs me. Not because it's a take on Superman that makes him gay, but because it was done in such an immature way. It's very junior high. "He's gonna have sex with Batman, just like you know he really does!" You could have done something way more interesting and smarter with a Superman-like character that is gay.

The initial joke's been taken more seriously since, making the character better and more real. But still. Warren Ellis is immature.


Mister Majestic

Created by Alan Moore in WildCATS, a Superman for the Wildstorm universe. A super-powered alien stranded on Earth.

He's my favorite Superman analog. He had his own ongoing series briefly by Joe Casey and Ed McGuinness that is EXCELLENT. I can't recommend it enough. It's full of huge interesting and crazy ideas. (Plus one issue that will break your heart.) It's been collected along with a story about Majestic at the end of the universe by Alan Moore. You should really try to get your hands on it. It's out of print, but not too hard to find. He's pretty interesting in that, like Captain Marvel before him, DC eventually bought Wildstorm, so Majestic crossed over into the Superman titles a couple of times.

Also, he's got a cool name.

Supreme
He's got a few different back stories. Some times he's an alien, some times a man imbued with superpowers from a meteorite. All the versions co-exist in a universe where the time line peridodically resets itself.

Originally a Liefeld standard: Take a popular character, give him an EXTREME! attitude, and call him an original creation. Alan Moore eventually re-invented him as pretty much exactly like Superman. He wrote some really interesting stories with them. He did his deconstructionist thing on Supes without using Supes, which makes me like it a lot more than I would otherwise.

There are two collections of Moore's work on the character, Supreme: Story of the Year and The return. I recommend them.



Hyperion

An evil Justice League like team from another universe created at Marvel to fight the Avengers. Then they did another version that are good guys. Then J Michael Straczynski, writer of awful comics, did an 'adult' version. Because the world was clamoring with a JLA book with naked women in it.

I actually don't know much about him. He's got a pretty awful haircut there in that image.






Sentry

He's got Superman's powers and stuff from an experiment gone wonky, but he's crazy. Every time he used his powers, he was feeding an evil version of himself which almost destroyed the world. So he went into hiding, causing the whole world to forget about him. Now he's an Avenger, and they talk to him a like a child holding a gun.

The original mini-series was actually pretty interesting. Marvel doesn't really know what to do with him, though. There was a marketing gimmick when he was first created that promoted him as a long lost Marvel character created by Stan Lee that no one bought.



Mighty Mouse
Is freaking awesome. That is all.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Perry White is punk rock


"Perry White is senile" may be my favorite semi-regular feature here.

Heh, Cluck Trent

STUPOR DUCK! Bob McKimson is probably my least favorite of the major Looney Tunes directors, but still, Daffy as Superman is still pretty great.

(video's gone, sadly)

I wish I had a Stupor Duck action figure.

Friday, September 7, 2007

The 10 Worst Moments in Superman History, a series

"So Superman used to have this great dynamic with Lois and Lana. They both wanted him, and he shunned both of them. Way to show them bitches, Supes! Thing is, these days Superman's married to Lois and has a happy, healthy relationship with the woman he loves more than anything, and Lana's moved on to a life of her own, not dependent on Superman to make her feelcomplete. Which is just fucking ridiculous. We all know there are only two kinds of women: emasculating whores and sweet innocent girls who don't know what to do without big strong men in their lives. Good thing there's two ladies in Superman's life! I can show a little variety and use both!"

Action Comics #822

If you're not familiar with Austen's work, there are three things very, very obvious about him: He has serious deep seated issues with organized religion, and he has serious, deep seated issues with women. He also, and he's said this, generally not interested in the properties he's worked with for Marvel and DC, so he warps them to fit his own sensibilities without regard to the property's histories.

When he took over Action Comics, he decided to make things interesting for him. He did this by making Superman an arrogant asshole, and by trying to reintroduce the Lana/Superman/Lois love triangle in the worst, most ridiculous way imaginable. He had Lana leave one of her thongs lying around in the Kents' apartment.

See, Lana's plan was to win Clark over by breaking up his marriage. By making his wife accuse him of sleeping with her. Because that's not stupid at all.

This is the thing, Chuck. Women? There's are approximately 3 billion of them out there. And guess what! That means there are approximately 3 billion kinds of women out there! Not just two! And I'd wager a fair share of them aren't as stupid and shallow as you seem to think all of them are.

Also, another issue in his run has a villain raping a woman to death. Seriously. He then says, "I'll need another female for tonight." I realize that's much worse than the mis-characterization of Lois and Lana, but I really just did not want to go on about that disgusting bit because it genuinely nauseates me. So this is more about the way women were treated in his run in general.

My general point here? Chuck Austen is messed up.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I bet Otto Binder was a Green Acres fan.

Clark has to stow his Superman suit quickly in the Daily Planet helicopter. Before he can get it back, Jimmy takes the helicopter out, but crashes in the mountains. He discovers the suit, and knowing it's impervious to cold, puts it on so he can make it down the mountain. Some hillbillies see him, and and mistake him for Superman. Hilarity ensues.

There's a good chance this won't be funny to any one but me. But I don't care. I think the way the hillbillies talk is freaking hilarious.











Paw Hillbilly there looks pissed. I don't see how, Maw's dialog fills me with joy.


You heered about him from city feller? What're you doin' consortin' with them slick city types? They's all in league with the devil, i heered!

You can keep your fancy-schmancy All Star Superman and issues of Action written by famous movie directors, alls I need to be happy with a Superman story is hillbillies saying, "Kricktynite."

PS, I wish i lived in Hogfoot Hollow.


Natchally! This is gold, folks. And how about that beauty queen daughter of the mayor's? A beating with the ugly stick ain't enough to describe that. She done got poked in the face with the ugly branding iron. She looks like Alfred E Neuman in drag.


Uh-oh! You've got a rival for that fine lady's affections, Jimbo! And you gotta lick him! *cue dueling banjos*


Kricktynite! That never gets old, friends. And I believe Moose when he says he ain't afeerd of nothin'. You'd have to be fearless to want that.

So there we have it: Jimmy Olsen, so bad ass hillbillies think he's Superman.