Instead of reviewing the game, I'm going to share with you a few screen shots in the hopes you understand why I just said "Oh screw a whole bunch of this" very, very loudly before completing the first level.
We'll start with the backstory.
Okay, I don't know why the statue of liberty is bossing me around, but whatever. Zod's out there and I gotta stop him! Hopefully whatever drugs that made the statue of liberty talk will wear off before I find him.
Ah, the good ol' Daily Planet staff. Perry, Jimmy and Lois. You start the game as Clark, apparently on Saint Patrick's day because every one is very green. They're dead weight. Lois tells you to go to the park and you can find it on your map. Which is pretty useless, as you get there by walking right. For a long time. And you don't know why you're going to the park. Yeah.
You don't stay Clark for long, though. Soon you find a phone booth! Now the games gonna pick up!
There'll be more than some walkin' now! There'll be some action!
But not a lot. See that guy? There are other bad guys, but 90% of the time you're just punching him. You have super powers, but they only work on certain enemies. I think. I'm not sure. I just know I was punching this guy and his army of clones a lot. A LOT. He did at least come in two flavors. Some times he was a pimp instead of a gangster.
Say, Jim! That is a bad outfit!
Okay, smacking gangsters and pimps is getting old. Maybe if I talk to some of the people standing around they'll tell me what to do.
Oh, well, Metropolis is a big city. I suppose it'd have a large population of immigrants. Maybe this next guy can help.
Oh, well, Metropolis is a big city. I suppose it'd have a large populations of, um, confused mutes. This next guy can help, though. I've got a good feeling.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
I thought maybe the Blues Brothers could help, but turns out they're the FBI, and we all know they're useless. Zombie? Who the hell is that? And why are you talking about yourself in the third person? I hate you, Nintendo Superman game.The Superman sprite is adorable, though.
6 comments:
You ever play the Nintendo 64 Superman?
Compared to that, this game HAS to be masterpiece...
But I do remember having it and thinking it was pretty bad. Oh, yes, I do remember. I think I also wondered if that pimpy guy was supposed to be the Joker... Oh well.
I'd like to put together a Freedom Of Information Act request, asking for everything the FBI's got on Zombies and Super-Breath! Who's with me?
Oh the N64 Superman game. Lord help us all. With its "kryptonite fog" and insistence on taking your input as suggestions and not so much orders when controling Superman.
I'd review it, but then I'd have to poke my eyes out and then there'd be no more SIB.
Hahaha, look at the super tiny Supes and the statue of liberty with an ANIME face! O__O
It's the face that made me do a doubletake. And its mouth is moving just a wee bit when talking to Supes.
Fun fact: Japanese edition of this game actually used music from the Superman movie in some parts (Superman theme for opening screen, "Can You Read My Mind" for... I guess it was the name-making part? Been a while since I tried it)
There was a...mostly decent Superman arcade game. Well, as decent as a late 90's side-scrolling Final Fight rip-off could be. And when you played two player, the other dude was Superman Red. ...maybe Mon-El. I dunno. I liked it, and would happily play that before I touch this abomination, or Superman 64. Which truly, truly sucked.
you know, I liked this game
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